I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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