how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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