I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
