so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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