She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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