I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
