Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
