Im at strip club and am horny
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize