He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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