Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
