we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
