having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You took a bar mat shot.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
