I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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