I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
