The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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