STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
