I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
