I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
