She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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