i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
