Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
