what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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