The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
