Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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