Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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