there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
