it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
