my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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