I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize