don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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