If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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