I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I believe in your delicious
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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