Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
