Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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