So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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