i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
