Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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