My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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