i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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