i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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