Having a random hookup so left but love u
My nipple is on Facebook.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
