That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
