My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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