she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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