Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
