after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
