smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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