I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
