Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
