garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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