but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
