My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I deserve this hangover.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
