Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
