He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am naked and annoyed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
