I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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