i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
