Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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