is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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