I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
