**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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