I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
