I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
