So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
